14 Comments

This post comes at the perfect time! Just today, I negotiated for the very first time in my life. The person on the other side was surprised. Of course, I’m a woman and, on top of that, a foreigner. But I felt a lot of pride in myself. I’m not sure if it will pay off, but I certainly have great respect for the woman who stood her ground in that room to defend her principles!

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Emanuela - This is incredible—what a powerful moment! Standing your ground and advocating for yourself is no small feat, especially when breaking through biases. Whether or not the immediate payoff is visible, the respect you’ve earned for yourself is priceless. You just set a precedent for your future self—well done! 👏🏽

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Hi Emanuela ! I'd like to endorse Ami's Response to your comment.

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I think your points link to our personal self-esteem as well as career. I think the lack of recording our progress and achievements is what makes this mindset change difficult, especially when entering into an unfamiliar space. By starting with our own reflections we can better understand ourselves and be more aware of how we present our experiences so far.

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Malick - Absolutely agree. Reflection is such an underrated tool—it’s the bridge between self-awareness and confidence. Taking the time to acknowledge our achievements not only grounds us but also helps us step into unfamiliar spaces with clarity and self-assurance.

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Honest Reflection is the greatest route to Shapeshifting......

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Agreed, Maurice!!

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It can be scary, but sometimes you have to ask. Years ago, I asked when a couple of months had gone by since the time of the annual review and raise announcements, and I received nothing. My interim manager, as it turned out, had not received notice from HR and did not even have my file. The next time I met with him? He offered a raise, double of what I initially thought to inquire for! That taught me the power in advocating for yourself.

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Colette - What a powerful lesson in self-advocacy! It’s incredible how just asking can uncover opportunities we didn’t even realize were possible. Your story is a reminder that we often hold ourselves back by assuming the answer is “no” before we’ve even asked. Advocating for yourself isn’t just brave—it’s necessary.

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Wishful thinking of appealing to the goodness of others to get the deserved return is almost certain to fail. Realized it after doing multiple low-paying jobs.

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Good points 👍

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Great lessons here: believe in your skills, keep learning, and stand up for your worth. It’s a helpful reminder that we get paid what we ask for, not just what we deserve. Thanks, Ami - I’ll use this in my next negotiation.

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This is good stuff Ami! Know your worth indeed

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Hi Ami, I like the way you present such valuable, actionable information, Maurice

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